Before break, I came to a crucial realization: I have not been happy this year (2009.) It's been a hard year, I've had all this trouble, blah-blah-blah-it's-what-I-say-in-every-self-reflective-blog-post-ever...
All that should now come to a stop. Why? Because I noticed a correlation (one that speaks also of causation) between the suckiness of this year and my mindset I've adopted. Late in the fall of '08, I began a personal campaign to make school my priority-- I was going to be more studious, more academic, and more dedicated. However, I took this mantra to an unhealthy extreme. Not only did I start focusing more on school, but I forsook pretty much every pleasurable activity in life in its pursuit. I stopped playing music--which I have done since the age of three-- I stopped painting and drawing in pen and ink-- which I have also done all my life-- and I halted progress on nearly all of my creative writing projects.
Now, please notice something here: I replaced all of these things, which, apart from just adding FUN to my life also contributed heavily to my identity, with school. What. The. Heck.
How can I be surprised that this year has gone so badly?! I removed everything that I enjoyed in order to pursue something that, yes, I did want to pursue, but that I should not have pursued so ardently. And ironically enough, once I removed all of the aforementioned things from my life, my academic progress suffered.
What have I learned from all of this? I have learned that I need to lighten up a bit. I need to do those things that I enjoy, not that I deem 'most prudent'-- whatever that means. So, to commemorate this revelation that is certain to become my New Years Resolution, I spent the past two nights re-acquainting myself with all of my gorgeous guitars, jamming out to U2, John Mayer, and Trans-Siberian Orchestra in my basement.